Dreaming away…

This week has been interesting food wise… The problem with not smoking is I’m lacking on ideas for what to do for my breaks at work. I’m left to walk around a mall…. And then I spend money, often on a coffee and a donut. Mmmm Donut…. Or On a bottle of Diet Pepsi, or a chocolate bar…. Not this is bad for two different reasons. One is that I don’t want to spend my money, and in the last two weeks I have spent almost $100 on food and drink… What the heck! And reason two is the fact that I’m trying to lose weight, and coffee and donuts are not so much the diet of a loser.

 My goal for this week is to walk the mall on my breaks, because it is still important that I get up and get away from my desk and move, and not buy a single thing.

 NO Coffee

NO Donuts

NO Chocolate

NO Pepsi

 I’m sure I can do it, especially if you include the fact that unless I take money from my savings account, I’m broke as a joke right now! Ha ha.

 Tonight is weigh in, and my Mom will be meeting me there. Luckily this time she isn’t sedated so she will be able to take it all in and actually enjoy the meeting. We are planning on buying portion spoons and portion plates! I’m so excited, that will make a big difference for us.

 Portioning and measurement is so important, and I pay minimal attention to it! I probably add at least 3 points to each meal without even knowing it! So I’m very excited about this. We spoke about portions in out meetings and it turns out that most of the time we either eat far too much, or we are so afraid of eating too much that we don’t eat enough. It is nearly impossible to get portions correct when you are just “eyeballing” it.

 So that leads to another goal. MEASURE EVERYTHING.

 Alright this week my plan is to:

  • Not purchase and eat/drink things that aren’t good for me.
  • Measure everything I’m eating.
  • Drink water and tea at work
  • Bring lunch every day
  • Walk everyday

 My only other goal is to be sure I come back to this post next Tuesday so that I can actually mark down what I have and have not done!

 I have to apologize, my writing style is not exactly organized. I wish it sounded more professional, but hey, I’m writing this to get stuff off my mind and to help myself, and others if I’m lucky, through a journey of weight loss and self discovery.

 I have a totally different topic to blah blah about now, so feel free to not read if you are just in to weight loss ha ha.

 SERIOUS RAMBLING RANDOM RAMBLING WANRING. THE BELOW MAY NOT MAKE MUCH SENSE BUT MY BRAIN IS TOO CLUTTERED AND LIKE DUMBLEDORE I NEED TO TAKE SOME STUFF OUT TO ALLOW ROOM FOR NEW INFORMATION. SEE WHAT I MEAN I’M RAMBLING IN THE WARNING ABOUT RAMBLING. Sigh

 I have a passion for Disney. The parks, the movies, the music, books, everything. One of the biggest things you hear and see as a Disney fan is to be passionate about your dreams, follow them, imagine them, and they will come true. I’ve been following a few “Disney Experts” for a few years and man would I love that. A lot of these professionals are writers and podcasters, they are journalist and theme park enthusiasts. My problem now, is how the heck do you get into that…. Actually what the heck do I even really want? As you can see from my blog my writing is sub-par (Although I always did well at writing in school, I just applied myself more then) I wonder what kind of classes there are on journalism and how to get into doing that. Wouldn’t that be a cool career? But then you see what most journalists go through and it does not look fun. Writing a lot of crap in the hopes of being able to make it to the big leagues. Anyway, may that’s not what I want anyway.

 I also thought about how cool it would be to move to California and work for Disney Corporate… but then comes the whole issue of moving to California, and as a Canadian, acquiring a visa… That all seems very intimidating… Gosh I wouldn’t even know where to start… do you apply for a visa of some sort first or do you apply for a job and then they help you get a visa??? Oh wow. I have no idea. I need to google this for sure and see what resources I can find.

 Also I’m trying to figure out a way to gain a secondary income, I don’t really have the time for a second job, but I think I need another form of income. I was thinking maybe an etsy shop, I can crochet, or sell some of my belongings on ebay. Maybe I could figure out how to do transcription… that looks like it would be hard to get into but I could totally do it! Hmm… Who knows right? Ok but then, what if none of that is in the cards for me. For some reason I just can’t clearly see in my head the path to getting there. To having that career with Disney or doing something involving Disney, like writing guides or something. So what then?

 What if, my path involves purchasing my own home, and keeping my current job or finding one a little closer to home that I’m slightly more passionate about?

 Do you ever feel like everyone tells you to follow your dreams, but then you don’t know what the hell they are? This is a hard age. At 28 people tend to be in one of two places, getting married, having children, and purchasing houses with their brand new families. OR they are in a place like me. Single, ok job that supports them, enough debt to make life less fun, no kids, no property.

 I feel at times like everyone else’s life is shooting along at a crazy pace. And I’m stuck. I’m stuck in the same place I have been for years. But I have no idea how to get myself out of it. I’m just stuck.

 Don’t get me wrong, I have plenty to be happy about. I have a good life, and good friends and family. But I feel very alone and lost. I feel like I need a hint, or a sign…. Just one little thing to lead me in the right direction.

 Anyways if you made it this far I’m impressed…. Seriously, I can’t even stand listening to myself think about this stuff sometimes… so thank you if you did. I know I’m the only one who can actually figure this out, but it just feels better to get it out.

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One thought on “Dreaming away…

  1. fat2fitkrystal says:

    Fantastic goals! I’m sending good thoughts your way!! I used to work in a mall and it was always the pretzels with cheese that got me.

    Like

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