Recently I noticed a show on tv, a woman who has been fit and healthy her entire life decided she wanted to show the world that fat people need to stop making excuses because weight loss is easy. First she gained a large amount of weight, and then she quickly lost it. At least that was the premise of the show. I was seething with anger at the first few minutes so I couldn’t handle watching it. If anyone did please let me know if my opinion of it was incorrect.
Here is my issue with this little experiment of hers: she doesn’t truly understand the mind of a person who is fat.
This woman has spent her entire life fit, skinny, healthy. She has never endured the mockery, the judging eyes when you eat a French fry, the people giggling and pointing while you are in a bathing suit on the beach, children staring at you and telling their Mommy’s “Look at that fat lady”. This woman never had her fellow elementary school students scream the words “Fat Cow” at her as she walked by their house.
Life as a fat person is not easy. We are the last group who people can openly mock without worrying about people thinking they are prejudiced in some way, and so they do. I have been teased my whole life, I have never felt good enough. I can pretty safely say that my lack of confidence comes from this. I also have issues in a romantic sense, as I usually feel like I’m not good enough for the men I really want. I’m not pretty enough, or smart enough, or funny enough. I still feel like the kid in school who would say something in class and then be terrified when everyone’s eyes were on her. People thought I was stupid. Based purely on the fact that I was fat.
That’s the mindset issue right there too. People often think that fat people are stupid, people will see a fat person at Mcdonalds and immediately they believe that this person is stupid. Why would someone who is already obese eat fast food? To make themselves fatter? No, for the same reason skinny people eat fast food, the stuff tastes good, and it’s cheap. I enjoy fast food immensely, but I also don’t eat it every single day. Like skinny people I eat a balanced diet, so why should I not be allowed to eat a burger and fries once in a while.
One common misconception is that fat people don’t realize they are fat. We don’t see that we need to make a change. But we do, and if any of you are like me you think of it all the time. It takes up a good portion of your daily thoughts. I was with a friend, who is tiny and always has been, and we were discussing the movie “Bridesmaids” I commented on how it bothered me that Melissa Mccarthy was always wearing a shrug or a small jacket. The other girls all wore their dresses like normal, but she always had a shoulder covering. I also commented that this is something I notice a lot in TV and movies, the fat girl always has her shoulders and upper arms covered. My friend said she hadn’t noticed, and I simply said to her “That’s because you aren’t fat my dear.” It’s like going to an amusement park, I worry about what I will fit into, and she doesn’t get it because she has never had to think about it.
People who are skinny, like the woman from the initial show that started this rant, don’t know exactly what happens in the mind of a fat person. I go to a go-cart track and I’m immediately anxious. Will the belt fit around me? Am I going to need the extender again? Am I going to have to ride in the double car because my butt won’t fit in the regular one? Am I even going to be allowed to ride? This woman has never experienced these thoughts. She has never worried that the drive thru employees are judging her. She does not understand the mentality behind wanting to lose weight, she simply wanted to prove her point. But her point is unfortunately incorrect. Losing weight is not as easy for everyone as it is for her.
Losing weight is hard, if it were as easy as she believes it is then why would there still be unhappy overweight people in the world?
Now I would like to write a letter to the world, see if I can get my point across.
Please don’t trivialize what I am going through. Weight loss is a struggle and it is fore-front in my mind more often than not. I know I need to lose weight and I am working on it. Please don’t judge me when I do indulge occasionally, you don’t know my life, you don’t know whether or not that’s my first burger in a month or my second of the day, and you never will. Please just take a step back and realize that fat people are in fact people. We love as hard, cry as hard, and fight as hard as any other person. If you take a moment to say hi, you will soon realize that I am intelligent, or funny, or cute, or sweet, or maybe an asshole, but if I’m an asshole, judge me for that and not the size of my stomach. Just as everyone else is, I am working on myself. I’m not where I want to be yet, but are you? Is anyone? Please remember that I’m not a joke, I’m a human.