I totally failed, totally. I’m not even sure what I ate this weekend. I screwed it up again, I mostly stuck to the plan, but there was enough off plan stuff that it doesn’t even matter.
Tonight is weight watchers so I will let the scale be the judge, but I know I’m going to be up.
What is wrong with me? Why can’t I get my shit together. I want to lose weight, it seems to be what my whole fricking life revolves around, every single decision I make rolls back to weight loss. I’m so sick of this. I’m sick of my life being this never ending fight to lose weight, but at the same time I really want and need to lose weight. I’m unhealthy and unhappy.
My lack of success has lead to a lack of motivation. I’ve been struggling with the same 4 lbs for 5 months. That’s a long time. Everyone wants to tell me how great it is that I haven’t gained, I’m still down almost 30 lbs, but that’s not good enough. I’ve been working on this for over a year, I should be a lot closer to my goal by now.
I’m really mad at myself. I want to quit because I’m just so sick of this.
I’m not sure how to get my motivation back. Does anyone have any tips? I think I might ty messaging the weight watchers 24 hour chat thing. Maybe they can help me to find my motivation again.
Even the motivation of buying something awesome wasn’t enough for me to track properly this week, and I’m thinking about doing it this week, but then June 27th I’m heading to Ontario with my family, so I’m destined to fuck up again. Right? How is it possible to get through a trip without fucking up?
Ugh. I’m so frustrated.
I will update tomorrow and let you all know about how it went on the scale, whether there were lots of tears or not.