Wow, so it has been a very very long time. I’m sorry I have failed. The reality is that I quit weight watchers….. and I apparently just quit thinking about weight loss in general. I have gained 40 pounds. 40. So I went from losing 30lbs to being 10lbs heavier then I was at the start of all this.

I’m sad. I’m not even angry. I’m just sad. I can’t believe I let myself do this.

Excuses are easy. It started with Hawaii. A trip to Hawaii is the perfect excuse to stop thinking about what you are eating… I mean, I’m certainly not going to be in a bikini in a month so…. may as well eat my face off an enjoy! …..right?……..

A month after Hawaii I went to Mexico for a wedding…. only three weeks between trips? Whats the point in trying to diet? ……………….right?…………

A month after Mexico…. CHRISTMAS! My favourite time of year! also super busy, and full of many many baked treats from friends and family. So no point in trying to control myself  ……………………………………..right?…………………………………….

So now today is my birthday. 5 days after Christmas. This horrible no mans land of eating crap  before jumping on the “New year, new me” bullcrap bandwagon.

So here I am. 5’5 283lbs. Trying my best to catch up to the bandwagon that is trucking along.

I wrote myself an email the other day, because I new a change was necessary. I know my life is bad. I’m depressed, I’m fat, I feel worthless, I dislike a lot of things in my life, I’m single, I’m lonely, I barely see friends…. my life needs a change. I’m going to copy my email for you all to see. Then I’m going to go on r/loseit on reddit and add some friends to my fitness pal.

Change doesn’t need to wait until January 1st. Change can start now.

–          Breakfast

o   Shake
o   Cereal & Milk
–          Lunches
o   Ceasar Salad With Ham
–          Snacks
o   Yogurt
o   Cheddar Bunnies
o   Apple
o   Veggies & Dip
–          Drinks
o   Water
o   1 Can of Pepsi a day
–          Dinner
o   Plan with Mom Weekly
–          Dessert
o   Weight watcher Ice cream
o   Weight Watcher Chocolate
o   Chapmans Rainbow Yogurt
Dinner Favourites:
–          Beef & Broccoli
–          Quinoa Fried Rice
–          Eggs & Toast
–          Butter Chicken
–          WW Cordon Bleu
–          Quesadilla (Little Cheese)
–          Salmon & Veg
Fitness Goal:
–          Walk half hour a day at minimum/Meet step goal everyday
–          Work out video 1 day a week.
Personal Goal:
–          Use Pinterest Make up Tips.
–          Wax Eyebrows
–          Wear make-up once a week
Goals for January 5-10:
–          Write down a positive every day
Goals for January:
–          Pay Mom ($375)
–          Get Car Battery
–          No more Doritos
–          Look into WDWIP and apply if possible
–          Have $250 in Savings by January 31.
–          Go out and take photos twice – Once in a city, once in the forest
–          Read photography book.  
Goals for February:
–          Book Limo for Disneyland
–          Save $200
–          Take Photos
–          Print pretty Photo Canvas
–          No Chocolate
Goals for 2016:
–          Save $2000
–          Lose 50 lbs
–          Pay off Credit Card
Take time to put some real thought into the future. Make a decision on what is actual best and the real goal. Then work hard to actually achieve this goal. I really need a pep talk. I really need to readjust my perspective. Don’t like the way I look? Only I can change that. Don’t like that I’m shy? Only I can change it. First things first, If I work on making myself feel beautiful then I can work on making myself look beautiful. There is no reason that I can’t look good at this weight. Look at Tess Holiday, Rebel Wilson, Whitney Thore. I can be beautiful and be fat. I can also lose weight. This year is going to be my year. I’m going to do everything I can to change my life.  
What is my purpose?
What are my dreams?
What are my passions?
What do I really want?
Why am I not getting it?
What is holding me back?
How do I improve my intelligence?
What books to read?




Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s